Jon Reed Goes Off On... January 2004
Saturday, January, 24 2004
ESPN...make the lovebirds go away!
Some ads think they can get away with raking us over the coals as long as they provide an funky twist at the end. So ESPN runs this network identity ad with two lipsucking lovebirds. One is wearing a Michigan sweatshirt, one an Ohio State. In the background: one of the most cloying acoustic love songs ever written. The long version of this commercial drones on for thirty seconds before they throw up the supposedly hilarious twist: "If it wasn't for sports, this wouldn't be disgusting." Huh? It's plenty disgusting regardless. And since ESPN thinks this is the most brilliant commercial ever created, they air it incessantly, ensuring that whatever small shred of cleverness we might have seen in it the first time has been transformed into dread and finally to channel-switching revulsion. If they were that hard up for ideas, couldn't they have done a commercial with Sean Salisbury spanking Stuart Scott instead? "Think you're as cool as the other side of the pillow now Stuart?"
Sorry we missed a key play - hope you enjoyed the commercial!
One of the special joys of watching the NFL playoffs this year has been watching my local CBS affiliate cram whatever commercials they can into each break...and if that means missing a play or two, so be it. One time, we missed a fumble and a recovery by the hometown Patriots. Cut to commercial - their team is about to score. Return from commercial - your team has the ball. Rewind the VCR later, play it again, rewind the VCR, play it again. What the fuck? Proceed with confused viewing for ten more minutes, until Dick Enberg refers vaguely to a fumble recovery. Next game: Miss a kickoff. Cut back to Greg Gumble bleating about something. Worse insult: the commercial was that idiotic Hummer commercial with "Happy Jack" playing in the background, courtesy the ultimate corporate song whore of all time: Pete Townshend of the Who.
Thursday, January, 22 2004
Welcome to my blog
Well, you wanted more Jon Reed, you got it. Thanks to web wiz Paul Bissex of www.e-scribe.com, I am now blogged and ready to take on the various forms of corruption that drive me insane. Let's draw some lines in the sand, shall we?